wow. its already been one month into the school term and i have yet to touch a single bit of reading or lect notes or what not. the only school related thing i've been forced to do so far is project group work. other than that.. nada! this is terrible. i shda known a last min slacker like me couldn't handle taking malay lang.. now im completely lost in tutorial and apparently i have a lang test coming up soon. oh boy! and i can't even su this module!!!! :/ bummer. why do i keep living in ruts.. that i just can't seem to get out of? i really need a study partner or someone who's extremely motivated and influential to influence me or guilt me into studying. anyone up for the job? haha. anyway.. i've finally reached the final phase in my recovery track after a great many weeks. it was soooooooo terribleeeee!! i actually had food phobia.. can anyone imagine MEEEEEEEEEEE having a food phobiaaa?!?!! -.- didnt think so. i was not only fevery, headachey, phlemgy, whole-body-aching, PUKEY, forever nauseous (which is why i didnt dare to eat cos i alws felt like throwing it up aft) and asthmatic. WTF! it was terribleeee!!!! i cldnt slp proper even tho i was lying in bed like 24/7 cos i had to keep blowing my nose.. or sit up cos i was feeling nauseous etc.. it was horrible. now the worst is over and i can start to eat again!! yayyyy! (: going to very quickly gain back whatever weight i lost during those horrible ill days.. hahaa.. but i dont feel sad abt it. anyway.. i haven't really been able to talk to shan or jean or my sis lately.. and i really really miss these 3 people alot. they're one of my closest and bestest friends and i really heart them the most! sad to say since school started i haven't really been able to talk to em either cos im too busy or just cos our timings are damn suey. nonetheless (in case you're reading) i still love you guys many many and we will definitely talk soon okay!! (: hang on despite our never ending piles of homework and all!! we shall thrive to survive!!! ahhaha (: of late, i've been feeling so aimless and misguided. which is making me emo, angsty and very thoughtful (this may not alws be good). sometimes we tend to overthink things... which just makes everything worse. i just pray to god that i'll be more purpose-driven and know what i want to do in the future. its scary to know you're graduating soon but still am not sure what you really want to do in life. it scares me shitless. and im not proud of not knowing at all :/ some guidance perhaps?

wow. i completely forgot abt the existence of my blog. if people didnt remind me.. haha. a whole sem wlda gone by without me typing entries.. haha. anyway tmr or rather in a few hours (as usual) the first day of school would begin.... and boy am i looking forward to it :/ goodbye good ol holidays. i really really enjoyed my holidays this year. and i dont ever want it to end. i dont even miss school at all. haha. unlike some of my dear old friends who are so bored of the hols n cant wait for school to start. dont know why i keep thinking that this is my last 2 sems in hall and in school. and it just makes me so damn sad. i will certainly miss everything and everyone. in one years time it will officially be the end of schooling and hello dreaded work days.. ayyy. been really really really busy at orientation and rag for hall. decided to sign up as a senior attach this year for the hall orientation but i think i ended up doing and putting in the same amount of effort as a councillor last year. how enthu can i get. haha. i shda just signed up as a councillor altho i dont need the points. haha. i dk why this year feels sooooooo different.. maybe i really feel like i have aged.. i can still clique very well with the freshies.. but it just makes me sad to think ill be leaving in a year and saying goodbye to everything. hahaha. i know im whining nonstop abt this but i cant help it. its inevitable but it just all that i can think about now. anyway i like my og alot.. HESSA ROCKS! (: the people in it rock and so far we're still going strong! many scandals in this bonded og but oh well.. what else is new? really dont get why im getting sick and tired of all these scandals as well. makes me think differently of people. which leads to disappointment etc. god damn. i shd just stop thinking altogether shouldnt i? being a tad bit emo girl now since shiping left. meilin's tears were too powerful.. inta end i also teared and welled and teared and spilled all the sadness outta me. its hard losing your really good friends overseas.. i should know. since more than a handful have left me already. we still keep in touch and all but its just sad. even sadder.. it makes me want to go overseas too. why am i stuck in sg while they're all there. HAHAHA. damn! this entry is super emo. ahhaha. okay talk about other stuff now. im back inta super sporting mode. brought in my badm and squash racket!! all ready to do a wide variety of sports and more sports! played vball cum bball with my og the other day n it was so friggin fun! =) the bruises were all worth it! can't wait for our next sporting session! haha. all thanks to snowboarding in skiing in melb that im suddenly inta sporting mood. im even contemplating if i shd bring my blades over to hall. hahaha. anw i cant wait for the holidays to come! apparently im going to krabi near xmas time.. going great barrier reef after i graduate next year!!!! how bloody exciting is that! =) the 2 places i've been dying to go since god knows when! and what better way to go then with your family =) this sem im taking cybercrime, cultural industries, media writing, malay lang (really hope i dont fail this) and entrepreneurial marketing. not sure if i made a very wise decision taking all these modules but its gna be one tough semester ahead for me. and i wont even bother to try telling myself to study harder etc etc.. cz i know im a born slacker and last min studyer and nothings ever gna change that.. i mean the past 21 yrs shd be testimony enough. oh bloody hell! its already 4am and im supposed to meet my og in 4.5 hours for breakfast. -.- once again.. whats new? haha.

IM FINALLY BACK IN SUNNY OH SO HUMID SINGAPORE.. quite sad really. i really really loved melbourne. everytime i go there i want to migrate there. its the place where all my loves are.. where i can be in limbo.. where i get to have so many great experiences and learn so many things. i love the weather.. the winter.. the summer.. the everything.. people culture. amazing.. here are some stuff i did there..

horse riding ( i really nearly died here)
skiing and snowboarding at mt hotham (AWESOME LOVE LOVE LOVE ABSOLUTELY LOVE!! THOROUGHLY ENJOYED MYSELF TO DEATH! HAHA no pun intended..but i did nearly die thr too)
car accident (need i say more)
penguin hunting (i even mastered their calls haha)
eating tons of GREAT food (what can compare.. esp the fredo and gelati oh man!)
FABULOUS SHOPPING!! (they got so much more variety and style there!!)
driving around (it was awesomeeee!!!!!!!!)
mountain climbing at grampians (AWESOME!! DAMN TIRING THO HAHA)
dance and went mad HAHA (the few should know)
ribs buffet at hardrock cafe on bourkes street (THIS WAS AMAZINGGGGGGG!!!!!!)
i became a super huge fan of dips and chips and GUM!!!!! omggggg!
watched harry (extremely disappointing... unfortunately.. think its the worst ever)
fell in love with the chips with salt =)
nonstop grocery shopping! haha
stayed over at jeans and hs's place as well as my sisters of course
fortune telling sessions
SOUTH PARK PINBALL MANIAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SOOOOO FRIGGIN COOL!! WORTH EVERY PENNY! (they had simpsons, addams family, pirates of the carribean etc too!! )
became a splinter surgeon and hairdresser over night =)

the above descriptions dont do melbourne justice at all.. maybe the pictures would. oh god.. how i wish i could have another month there. my parents are going there in about 2 wks for 14days to visit the GREAT BARRIER REEF with my sister!!!!!! HOW JEALOUS!!!!! why did school have to start so early!! if not i cld go with them. ah well. anyway my mom said maybe early next year we can go again =) =) =) that would be paradise.. anyway now im horribly injured all over... bruises.. sprains... blisters.. whatever u ccan think of.. i am experiencing that now.. because of the ski-board trip. but it was worth every fall =) ahahha! in fact that trip is inspiring me to get 2nd hand roller blades!!! but sg roads or so cycle and blade unfriendly. anyone know a good place to get relatively okay cheap blades? hahaa.. anyway DIE HRAD 4 IS AWESOME!!!! im so glad i caught it with del. ahahhaa im so going to find a way to watch 1 , 2 , and 3 now! =) bruce willis is awesome. ahaha! =)

missing all my loves!

goshhhh!!!! its been only 3 days in melb and already i miss the warm sunshine and just the slightest drop of sweat.. how pathetic is that! lolll.. ahhhhaa anw i've been eating tons of good food and normal food and snacks. ahahahha! and went shopping at direct factory outlet. ahhha walked and walked and walked but surprisingly only ended up buying two items compared to last year.. maybe its cz its winter season and last year i went during the summer so there were more things that i cld buy to wear at home.ahahaha. its a whole diff experience staying here. the last time i came to melb i wanted to migrate here.. but that was summer.. winter its so cold i tink ill just stick to holidays. ahahah!!!! i love the people the weather the everything but only when it doesnt freeze me to death! lol.. i've nv put on so many layers of clothing before.. a spax, a shirt, a long sleeze shirt, then a jacket and maybe an outer warmer jacket if need be. ahahhaha TOTALLY BAD. ahahaha. oh my. anyway the food here is amazinggggg.. the scenaries and views are amazing.. everything is amazing.. the customer service everything! ahhaha loving it. tmr im going vintage shopping with jean and huishan. ahhaha and basically just make fools outta ourselves and do stupid things tgt.. we are all so lame and unfunny that its funny! hahaha =) we basically have an odd sense of humour ahhahaha its hilarious. anw alright i shall go catch some slp now. ahahha. hopefully hiding under the thick blanket will make me hahah =)

OH MY GOSH! so exciting!!! im leaving for my kelong trip in 5 hours!!! and i still haven't slept. ugh.. just finished packing!! because i came home late. was out with my darls cindy and lala. i really really really didnt realise how much i miss those two.. like seriously! in cjc we were one little clique however we lost contact after the As.. i rmb plenty of good times with them of course.. and i always used to wonder how we cld stand meeting up with each other everyday and just talking crap! today i realise why. haha! we can just talk and talk about anything and everything.. its amazing. they are truly wonderful company and i really really miss them alot! there was not a time today that i wasn't smiling or laughing or thoroughly enjoying myself. that to me is good friendship! haha. to be with people who's company you really enjoy.. every single minute and second. i will certainly meet up with them more and cherish them more! HOW COULD I EVER HAVE LET THEM SLIP OUT OF MY LIVES FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS! haha.. cindy lala and i have become PLAYMATES. haha due to our close home proximity!! (welcome back to the north juaner!) hahaha. which means we will (not go to the playground but..) meet up for suppers.. movie marathons... annoy each other... and whatever!!!! ahaha. really excited and looking forward to all that!!! it makes me realise how even tho u haven't met up with someone for so long the friendship will always still be the same.. just a little outdated. haha. =) i felt like we were nv apart!! as if jc was just yesterday..!! haha. today lala and i were shopping (mainly vintage shopping) and we both bought one thing each.. her a nice dress.. and me a nice vintage 'half penny' charm.. its supposed to bring you good luck =) and how coincidental!!!!! i was reading a book which mentioned it ytd and HOLY SHIT! I CHANCED UPON IT TODAY!!!!! wow! i bought it immediately even tho it cost me $24.90. HAHAHA. it was a must have to me. love!!! =) lala and i have great plans to go vintage shopping etc. haha! of course that we have to wait till we have money in our pockets. ahah! so exciting! i really can't wait! =)

LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOOO MUCHHHH!!! we have to meet up more!!!!! (:
i haven't felt so happy in ages!

amazing amazing amazing. the whole holidays i've been slacking and working and slacking and working. the most amazing part is that the work just fall onto my lap. i don't go looking for a job... but the offers just keep coming. why is that? i guess its true.. when you're not looking for sth.. it just comes right up to ur face. when you are.. it just disappears from view. hahaha. but im glad for it. need to save up money for my melb trip!! hahaha (: can't wait! travelling alone all the way to melbourne for a WHOLE MONTH! how exciting is that. but yet there's alot of opportunity costs that come with the trip which kinda saddens me as well.. because i dont really know what im giving up and the true costs of it. for instance going on the trip means i can't accept the SDE research project which pays $8.75 an hour, i can't do any internship (which is really impt), i can't accept long term jobs (who's looking anw), i can't go for arts camp, i can't go for union camp, i can't meet up with yuying(i havent seen or spoken to her since she left), i have lesser time to meet up with ping and many others who may not be as free or around when im back.. basically alot of pros and cons. but oh well. the choice has been made. the most worrying thing i guess is yuying and the internships. hahaa. if i dont get a job inta future cz i missed this internship opportunity i guess i will just stab myself a hundred times over. anw i'm still looking forward to WINTER in melbourne (some what) where i can hopefully go skiing and stuff (: its going to be soooooooo fun! i know it! ahhaha. but pathetic ol me have only earned about $400 so far. so sian. but nvm i got another job starting monday (thanks to pam) and hopefully its not a bitchy tiring calling job.. i hope its like the callling i did in uob. that wld be fantastic. haha. i just spent many long hours doing up my resume. i must admit it looks pretty good now.. =) its pretty hardwork.. categorizing.. coloring the words.. not as easy as i thought. now all i need is a good neat picture of me in office wear. ahahha! i really can't imagine. which is why im so keen on going into the advertising arena of work. you don't even have to dress in office wear.. and hopefully if im on the creative side.. i get to come up with advertisement ideas and stuff. that would be so cool. at least i've sort of narrowed down my career scope from 'i really dont know' to 'maybe' haha. anw i think since the past two sems. i really really have learnt so much.. and you start to feel yourself maturing.. both physically and mentally.. its like a whole part of you is just growing up and theres nothing you can do to stop it. i still reminisce about the good ol secondary school days.. but i know theres so much more i got to do now. for now i'm just so glad i have gotten to know two wonderful supervisors from citibank and kelly services.. and hopefully from terrapinn (the lady seems quite nice and friendly via sms) haha. we'll see how work goes on monday (: so many things to look forward to.. why am i still looking back?


i really dont know why i still hate you.. but i still do. i really do. i've no desire to see hear or even think of you. i've nv felt such strong detestment for someone before. it scares and surprises me each time.

oh my.. i just spent another 4 hours trying out all sorts of widgets and 'renovating' my blog some more.. spent most of the time exploring all the different gadgets actually. ahahha! now im a tech savvyy chick for sure! yayyyy! i nv knew u cld do so much more with your blog and its just soooooooo fascinating! (: one basic thing i aint that good at yet tho is changing the stupid width and margins shit. just can't get it right!! (shiping or yunx need your help) hahha. but yeah the pictures above this post is downloaded images from various places online.. i thought they were really cool!! (well.. except the burger.. i just wanted to eat that. haha) the sights and scenaries and all were soooooo amazing. i envy the western culture alot sometimes.. their festivals open mindedness creativity fun designs infrastructures just everything. of course i still love singapore and want to live here. i guess the grass is always greener on the other side. but heyy.. check out the pics for yourself and tell me those pics ain't cool and fascinating!! (: bloody hell.. its 8am now.. and i still ain't asleep. asking for it. everytime explore sth im interested in or get hooked on sth (no matter how great or dumb it may be) i just cannot stop and i dont even realise the time that is flying back oh so quickly. and the next thing i know its morning. if my parents knew i was still awake i think they'd kill me. ahaha. by kill i mean nag me to death or sth. i deserve it i know.. but its early inta morn and im tired and i really don't want to be nagged at. so i just got to not get caught. ahahhaa. which is why im contemplating if i shd even go and pee (i wld have to get out of my room to go to the bathroom which might risk them seeing me) HAHAH. okayy.. i am not putting that much thought into the whole peeing debate.. think im just going crazy right now. hahaa. i shall go rest my overworked mind now (:

YAYYYYY!!! finally decided to get rid of my old blog and do up a new one =) added tons of pics and lots of new stuff!! like the youtube highlights, news highlights, picasa, pictures, links, lists etc. basically i changed everything except the tagboard =) finally getting more tech savvy!!! haahhaa.. its already 6.19am and i am still awake doing up this blog when i have a job interview in a few hrs. rocks. haha. spent a grand total of 4 hours doing up everything! and i am far from finish! have yet to upload all the old pictures and categorize them and then add the links to both blogs (mine and our combined) looks like ill be stuck in fronta the comp for quite a while more.. haha. going to become a comp geek in no time. what i really wanted to do was go to the library and borrow a few good books to read. but oh well. i think ill wind up working till next wk. somehow i was initially excited abt the job.. but now i dont really want it. altho it will provide me with additional spending money to splurge in melbourne.. or at least to give my family as a token of appreciation. ayyyyy.. my body clock is so screwed up. well at least this time there's no exams to worry about. =) kayy its getting real late.. more updates next time then. wonder when ill ever get in my composey mood again. haha.


free tic(s) to shrek 3 and pirates coming up! who wants em? (:

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!! exams are finally over!!! =) now i can sit back relax... and enjoy =) dont intend to find work yet.. ahah except maybe the stupid internship thing ahhaha!! so exciting! its gd to be home! even tho i nearly died trying to move all my stuff back.. ugh! ahhaha im inta process of re-decorating and re-shaping and clearing and packing my room (at home tt is) ahahha. okay i lied.. i just started 10min ago.. and alr i decided to go online and watch some south park! hahahaha i found a new website that has all the sp videos check it out!

http://www.allabout-sp.net/

ahhaah its cool =) yay! wow i've been mia-ing for sooooooo damn long!!! got so many things to do and so little time! ahhaha just got to do up my rm first. hahahaha here's the list of stuff to do in random order

1) pack my room
2) re-do up my itunes (stupid me deleted my old itunes.. thk god i dint lose all e songs)
3) watch south park, whos line is it anyway, that 70s show (hee hee)
4) swimming/tanning
5) sports (any sports... pls jio me!)
6) movie marathon
7) mahjong
8) settle my internship
9) settle the melbourne trip (i intend to go for a month)
10) clear up my house and throw/give away all the old stuff
11) set up a blog online to sell my stuff (i said tt long ago but just too lazy)
12) dye my hair ( not sure when or if i shd do it or let my old brown hair grow out fully)
13) learn driving w del (FINALLY.....)

oh ! ps : i cut my hair! its super short! just can tie kind. ahah no more loooooonnnnggggg hair for me.. i must admit its qt a pity since my hair was soooooooo damn bloody long.. i guess i just cant suit the long mature look :/

"Lost love is still love, Eddie. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. "

~Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom

King Toodles


Long a time,
When I was little
My Dad used to tell me about King Toodles
He lived in a tree house just down on yonder
And smelt like an arse that was lit with fire.

I often went in search for this King
Who never seemed to grace me or heed me
Still I overturned the smallest of pebbles
And combed the forest before the sun mellowed
I shouted his name and offered my services
But still that stubborn old fool chose to stay hidden
And remain forevermore a complete mystery.

I always went back to my dad empty handed
With a sulky tear-stained face not so well hidden
It was only when my Mother died and Dad stopped caring
That I finally gave up trying.

Even after his death
I still hear his stories
One way or the other
I guess it’s because I long so much to be once again a part of his memory
That I hopped on my old rusty red bike
And took off in search of an answer

I peddled down that old muddy bank
On roads that run so soft and green
Alongside the many lakes of memories
That only my eyes retrieved.

I quickened my pace on long-forgotten tyres
And challenged time in the surroundings of nature
‘Old wheels keep on turning’ my dad once said
Just like the hands of time they turn
But it is alas these winds of change
Especially one - that he so longed to burn.

This bike is old of course I know
It is after all slightly younger than me
It squeaks in protest against my desires
And anchors me down with all its material ‘dysires’

Like a leaf caught in a summer breeze
I head on down unknowingly
Along paths I took many times before
To places I knew lived forevermore

O Sir King Toodles
Oh where could you be?
Please tell my Father
I long to see him
This trip down memory lane is not working for me
I am as lost in this forest
As you’ve always wished me to be

I talk to myself for a good three hours
Before I realized I used up all my powers.
I embodied myself in a grain of time
Where my Dad used to be
He sat on his throne in his castle
And I hero-worshipped him
King of the household I used to say
And Mother would agree
He ruled as justly as he loved unquestioningly
As my Mother and I to him

It was then I realized how stupid I was
To search so hard for something I never lost.
I searched for a King who lived in a forest
Whilst the one King I should have been looking for
Is with me no longer.




Jessica
08:23
2 April 2007

you.

we were once so close
despite all the let downs and times of abandonment
when someone new came along
i stuck by you
in hopes that our friendship
means more to you with each time that passes.
i was wrong.
i believed that our friendship can hold thru anything
and that it was worth almost everything
i was wrong.
you always threw me away
whenever someone else came along.
you always took me for granted.
you almost always had your way.
and i - like a stupid fool
would be waiting stupidly at one corner
waiting for you to pick me up once again.

this time though our friendship took a turn for the worst
though it seemed that our friendship had finally come to an end.
it revived. momentarily.
we called it a truce
forgave and forgot
we talked almost normal
and talked about a return to the past
a past where our friendship stood strong.
give or take?
with renewed hopes,
i gave you everything i had once again.
i went all the way on my part
in hopes that our friendship could be rekindled.
in hopes that you'd pick me up again.

you gave me your promise.
you said you'd come back
that you'll pass on by and re-create whats lost for oh so long
i waited and waited
like a stupid naive fool i waited.
i waited for you to come.
told myself all you needed was time.
i offered to help u come get me.
i offered all i could.
i waited and waited.
but still you never came.

i always took the initiative.
i always took the first step for fear that you already had forgotten me.
for so long it has always been
'i always' and 'you never'
you hurt me.
the past month you hurt me the worst.
yet my hopes were lifted so high
at the prospect of us being good friends again.
and with this intermediarary moment of bliss
came shattering sadness.
as once again.
once again you failed to keep your side of the bargain
once again you threw me aside
once again you showed me what it takes to be a lousy friend.

i've waited and waited.
i think i've waited too long and too hard.
all those years of friendship we had.
all the trust, faith and laughs we shared.
im throwing it all away.
im throwing everything you threw away.
i recently told a few others with great sadness and realization
'i give up'
'i give up on this friendship'
'i give up on us'
'i refuse to try anymore'
i refuse to be on the blind waiting end
when i know that you will never change
that once again i'm wasting my time
waiting for a friendship that had once worked
that will never work again.

i went 99% of the way.
all you had to do was take that one step
you didnt.
i went all out.
i forgave forget.
put my pride aside
went down on my knees
you didnt.

i'm not angry.
i'm just sad.
i don't hate you
i'm just so disappointed in you.
14 yrs of friendship down the drain
just like that.
what's the point if you came back now?
no point.
you missed your golden opportunity
you've made me wait far too long
you've left me hanging on a thread
you've left our friendship for good so long ago.
funny ain't it
how i've only just realized.

i did you didn't
i always you never
i remember you forget
i hope you neglect
i cared you didnt.

has it come to this my friend?
i think so.
i really think so
this time we've come to an end - for good.
goodbye my friend for many long years.
i hope you look back because i won't
i hope you never have to feel the pain i feel
i wish you the best in life
because that's what i've always hoped for you.

okay since im done tv-ing my whole weekend away.. i shall blog abt my current dilemmas. i was just telling SER that i really dk what i want to do in life.. what career i want to take on.. etc... i dont seem to have the passion for anything.. unless u consider slacking one.. which sucks. also.. i cant even decide on whether i shd cut my hair or not.. okay a few qns's regarding this

1) shd i cut my fringe shorter? (still side parting sloping down of course)
2) should i cut my hair such that i am just able to tie or leave it long? (which do i look better with guys? help me out!)
3) shd i just shave my head bald... (this is actually not an option.. ahha)

AHHHHHHH! the mahjong outing totally screwed up my body clock and its 4.30am and i still aint sleepy. been waking up at 7pm the past few days and sleeping at 7am.. how terrible is that.. time to adjust adjust! if not ill be looking like a piece of crap and feeling it too :/ lethargic lethargic is what i feel... ughhhhhh

happy 21st char and cheri!!
we love you!!! (:

how pathetic and clustery are my travels man :/

it is a call for the reader to forge his or her own way in life and not follow the path that others have already taken.

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

happy birthday JOYCE DEAREST!!

you're the best sister ever!
i love you (:

busy_gal86 i have been!! ayyyyy.. was ill illl illlllllll the past 2-3 wks.. actually more or less still ongoing.. grrrr! illnesses were obviously aggravated by the 2 major mid term tests that i had... namely history and social psych of new media.. both onta same day one right after the other! oh my.. inta end i didnt even have time to sleep!!! :/ yes yes i know.. stop last minuting!! but i cant help it!! even if u gimme 3 wks for the tests i will just slack till the last few days. what a loser. i need to revamp my blog! i spent like 7hrs doing up a very nice combined blog for my loves which totally outshines my own.. how loser is that.. its time for a change =) shumz and i had a photo taking mania in her room a few days back! whahahah took sooooooooooooooooo many stooooopidddd pics.. hopefully it doesnt get exposed. ahhaha! she and i really do the stupidest things la.. what wld i do wout her in hall with me.. it ink she is my hall bestie la! (: LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE! the most happening thing that happened to me the past few wks was CHAR AND CHERI'S BIRTHDAY AND THE EVENT AFTER DP where i won free stuff but shant elaborate on cz it was so embarrassing.. i am so not beatboxer material -.- anyways.. ser and i spent like a whopping $150 on both their presents ccombined!! it was CRAZYYYYYY!! we bought em like huge embarrassing balloons (which i nearly died of embarrassment holding initially b4 we passed it to em.. the stupid thing kept hitting my face and continued doing so even after i passed it on -.-) we personalized the balloons and bought them chocolate cupcakes from the ehh.. shit what is called.. the chocolate factory or cupcake factory or sth.. ayyyyyy the new one near smu with long lines of queues. ahhaha.. and we bought em 3 items each!! (: superrr dupeeeeeeeer! glad they both loved it! ahha especially cheri la.. she was like WOWWWWWWW..... WOWWWWWW.... WOWWWWWWWW! AHHAHA (: it was all worth it! we bought char 2 mango tops, 2 pairs of (cross) earrings and a cute car display thing AND we bought cheri a damn super nice big nike waterbottle (that i want so bad) and a super chio puma clutch and a nice nike white cap! AHHHHHHH . half the time when ser and i were shopping for the presents we were like eyeing our own stuff and some of their chosen items with longing and/or jealously.. sigh. we had a lovely meal of sakae sushi which char treated (3 cheers for sashimiiiiiii!) and proceeded to karaoke at my moms club!!! even tho we only had 1 hr left to sing... it was worth it.. ser and i already had impromptu 'plans' all figured out.. when we arrived ata club.. the stupid guy in charge kept saying u guys only have 1 hr left to sing and u sure u want to etc etc.. he niaoed on and on for like 10 whole min.. before he helped us set up. grr. then when we went in.. ser and i made a huge fuss about all of us needing to pee. so i said ' hey u know what why dont u guys go pee first while i set up the karaoke system here' then char was like 'okay' then char helped our situation by saying 'u dont want to go meh?' then serene came in perfectly and said 'or i stay with you (me) and help u set up you two (char n cheri) go first?' PERFECT.. so immed when the two of em went out the door.. ser and i made a MADDDD DASHHHH to set up the whole celebration!!! we arrange the presents... set up the cupCAKES.. light the candles.. find the lighter.. switch on the karaoke system and find an appropriate happy birthday song (there were abt 3) test them check sound system.. play with the lights... and omg.. we basically went crazy!!! ahhaa. nv felt so stressed before. then just when i was testing the song cheri and char came back in. serene immed picked up the mike handed one to me and started singing... HAPPYYYYYY... then i immed pressed back and replayed the stupid happy birthday song.. which had a super long intro... so we just stood there like fools stuck on our 'haaaaaapppppppppyyyyyyyyy' for damn long!! before we finally maanged to get in sync with the stupid song on the big screen tv.. char and cheri were SHOCKED SPEECHLESSS! hahahah yayyyyyy! they totally didnt expect it at all. they thought the balloons were the end of the presents! ahah. the funniest part was (besides ser and my singing admist burstfuls of giggles) the lyrics of the song that went on and on forever... 'may god be with you' ..... 'happy birthday my dearest... ' and all sorts of odd lyrics that dont fit the moment.. haahha. i bet none of u alll have actually heard the full birthday song before. we were all on a momentary high! it was awesome (: ser and i were so stressed and last min the whole aftnn.. shopping for presents.. searching for candles and lighter while we were already with the two of em.. and hiding the fact that we were holding a surprise celebration.. secret conv's abt the surprise or things we have yet to get in fronta the two.. the many many impromptu lies we had to tell in order to surprise em clueless! OH MYYYYYYYY. it wasn't easy i tell u! hahaha. but it was a fantastic day with the trio.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHAR AND CHERI!! WE LOVE YOU!! (:

kang is seriuosly the funniest.. nv fails to make me laugh. i was telling her abt all the lessons i learnt and stuff.. and she actually said.. 'totally lessons learnt write down in a powerpoint slide and show me ah!' omg it was sooooooo damn funny la! i immed changed my msn nick to that.. haha! damn off. then kang and i were sorta like responding to each others statements via our msn nicks until yunx nudged me on my msn and asked if kang n i were mad! ahhaha (: love that piece of crappish kang. ahhhh.. still tired from zouk last night.. FIRST TIME PLANNED CLUBBING WITH PING AND MEILIN! (: (ping FINALLY we did it).. the usual gang came along... shumz pam tav ali xp and otheres like tze yeong bryan ji ting (who was really really funny btw.. he is like the untypically cute hilarious drunk kind..) and his friends. a night of fun and drunkardness!! (not me tho of course) (: good songs good time (: ayyyyy okay back to doing my readings for tmrs meeting for next wks presentation! eeeks! :/

i was soooooooo bored that i decided to take a test my fren sent me. hahaha everything is pretty accurate i must say.. except for the last one.. makes me sound like some trashy bitch! ):

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal,
faithful, never change.

4. What you hate most in your partner is that the person is
ruthless, cold-blooded, and/or ironic.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You always want to get married, but in fact, you don't even know
what it really is.

8. At this moment, you are quite self-centered; you think of love as
something you can get and trash anytime you want.

http://www.naucon.net/misc/tests/love_test01.htm

how embarrassing. how utterly embarrassing. hahaha. nv ever ever in my life wld i imagine that i wld do sth like that. but oh well. whats done is done. haha -.- mich saluted or rather worshipped me for being brave.. but ultimately it is foolishness and stupidity that i feel. lol. no matter past or present.. embarrassment still creeps up to my neck and strangles me to shame. damn it. oh well. if its meant to be then its meant to be.. if not.. well you cant fight for whats never yours. haha. at least i said my peace. no regrets whatsoever. right? right. (: (wow i tink im actually starting to partially believe what im trying to convince myself over and over. hur hur) CNY this year is such an unusually sad sad sad time for me.. its not my family that's causing it of course. in fact my family (my mom and dad) are the ones who make me so so so happy everytime i get back (: i simply love them so much. in my secondary and jc days i was too hot headed and stupid to really cherish them completely.. but now i guess since i stay hall 4/7 i really really miss them and love them so much more. i guess its true that time apart does maketh the heart grow fonder? (: u then learn to treasure every single moment with the ones you love. anyway.. vday cld not have pass any funnier.. or more hilarious. all thanks to a certain someone who threw flowers(in a plastic bag) on my lap.. i still cant get over it. ITS SO HILARIOUS! inta end i decided that the plastic bag was priceless and decided to hang it on my rack for safekeeping (or rather for laughing). hahaha nonetheless i really enjoyed myself and appreciated your efforts (: cheers! ahahha also meilin and ping made my day la.. was sucha fun day with them at chinatown! nv regretted a single moment there. ahhaa. we shd go out and meet up more often! ahhaa.. we're all full of nonsense i realise. and god knows how long we spent in that beads shop la. haha AMAZING. anyway.. im already slacking like crazy in my school work.. yikes!! guess a leopard really can nv change its spots. damn it. oh well.. time for some much needed change. its 6am and im getting cranky. so i shall just type random thoughts.

i miss st nicks so much.

yunx i miss you so much too suddenly!!

del you too ):

i want to go to melbourne and visit 3 beloved people of mine (:

i really really really love danny with all my heart no matter how aged or cranky or whiny you become. sometimes i really love till it hurts.

i wish my sister was still here in spore with me.

i wish me ser cheri char jean were transported back to our good ol st nicks sec days.

i wish to be brought back to the days where i truly enjoyed and loved every moment of badminton training in my lower sec and pri school days in st nicks.. where our team was so bonded and we did so many things together. we were the best team ever as a whole. no discrimination just team unity and true love. hardship pain cruel physicals but ultimately fun joy glory victory friendship love (: i really miss those days where true spirit rang from every corner.

i wish you'd leave me alone.

i wish my wing wasn't so empty sad and quiet.

i wish i knew what i really wanted to do in life.

i wish you'd stay and because of you - i wish for the impossible.